I’ve been knitting A LOT since January when I started. It has quickly become something that I feel deeply passionate about. As I continue to learn more and grow through my experiences so far with knitting I wanted to reflect back a little bit.
I picked up knitting in a way to fill a void I felt in myself. A lot of this stemmed from feelings of boredom, loneliness, and depression. I felt at the time that most things were meaningless and that there just wasn’t much to look forward to. I’ve always lacked confidence, but felt especially down on myself and simply not interesting to others. I’ve always heard about how knitting helps with focus, how it can be a relaxing and therapeutic activity, but never looked into it before. During a manic upswing I began researching online and looking up videos, then ran to the store to pick up my first supplies.
I felt like giving up almost immediately. When I was not able to get the motion or began making mistakes I thought that it was a bad idea. I eventually let myself make those mistakes and kept plowing ahead. I eventually got the hang of it. One of the biggest things that I still continue to learn that it is ok to fuck up, things aren’t broken because I didn’t do a few things correctly. Over the months I could see and feel the process becoming easier, or at least more familiar. I understood more what I was doing, how looping and stitching together thread in different ways can create unique fabrics.
While I still suffer from depression and have some pretty down days, I find myself knitting and wanting to accomplish that next finished object. To me there is something really empowering about creating a new object that didn’t previously exist in the world. Being able to share these experiences also has helped me to not feel so alone or isolated in the world. I have made connections with people in Chicago and all over the world and I really enjoy seeing everyone’s creativity and perspective that they bring to the craft. I began a knitting group and made and effort to set up times to meet with people, something I’d never thought I’d do. All this has led to a bit more confidence in my abilities and in myself. I have gotten a lot of feedback from people that my work is impressive given how recently I started. I’m halfway towards believing the praise, but also proud of my effort and learning how creative I can truly be
Looking forward, I know that knitting is something I’ll always keep with me from now on and am excited about all the possibilities of where I can take it. I would like to get to the point where I can write patterns for people or put them up for sale. I’d also love to begin making unique knit items to put up on a store somewhere. Right now my favorite objects to make have been cowls. My goal for myself is to make 10 unique cowls and maybe develop a pattern or two based on these designs. Hopefully, by the time winter comes around, there will be a few items in my store for sale. Right now the dream is to make this into a career and create beautiful objects for a living. For the time being, I will continue to share updates and I continue to learn and grow personally and creatively through knitting.